Funny garden related stuff

Things that drive your landscape gardener crazy

We’ve all heard the stories about cowboy landscapers....... But what about the customers from hell? The timewasters, late-payers, mind-changers, micro-managers and feuding couples who put the poor old landscaper in the middle. This is how not to be that customer. Bazig Mooiebloemen discusses things to avoid if you want your landscaper to stay on side. MORE
Was it the China Virus? No even worse than that. The wildflower meadows that were their homes, and the wildflower nectar that was their food have all gone. What can Boris do? Nothing son, he has got his hands full with keeping himself and us safe.
BUT wait a moment, flowerpotman has got a good idea,their is something we can do son! we have got a lot of time on our hands at the moment.  We could  grow our own wild flower meadow in our lawn!

 

Please Mum lets do it, flowerpotman says it is easy to grow a wildflower lawn

My soil is very poor and my lawn is all worn and patchy what can I do?

You could take advice from green-lawn-man. Every neighbourhood has one, he's the guy in love with his hosepipe and box of chemicals, or......DO THIS

Wine thyme on a Chamomile Lawn

When you feel tired and low wander into your garden with a bottle or two of red wine. Close the gate and shut the world out for a while. MORE

What is living the simple life?

Living the simple life mean means different things to different people.  

So I asked a few people what it meant to them

Their Answers are here 

 

I could not resist showing you this one right away 

 

I asked a long-term unemployed father of ten I built a patio for at his council house, how he lived the simple life.

"The British benefit system" he proudly said!

 


On the council estate he lives, he and many other families seem to have found the answer to how to live the simple life ...

 

You won't need a nest egg, have to win the lottery, grow your own  or go to work.

 

They have

  • people carriers with disabled badges.
  • an endless supply of ready cooked fast food.
  • the latest fashion in tracky bottoms and trainers.
  • wide-screen curved TV sets with sky discs on almost every house.
  • An endless supply of free replacement windows and plastic doors or a very quick repair service every time they get kicked in.
  • a collection service for surplus furniture dumped on the front garden.
  • endless supplies of lager cans and cigarettes, they love Marcus Rashford! although the kids never seemed to be at school.
  • taxis to Tesco.
  • they seem to enjoy a lotta late nights and late late mornings
  • two or three holidays in Benidorm or similar hot tacky place every year.

 

I did feel a bit sorry for him after noticing he suddenly developed a bad back if I asked him to hold the wheelbarrow steady while I shoveled stuff into it, also noticed he needed a walking stick to go and open the front door when the bell rang, especially, if thru the peephole, the visiter looked official

I am glad though that I asked to be paid up-front for the work. He paid in cash.